A translation of Turgut Uyar’s ‘Geyikli Gece’
The Deered Night
but really,
we were not terrified,
all was nylon,
and that was all,
and when we died,
we died in thousands
against the sun
but before we’ve found
the deered night
we were afraid
like children
you must keep
the deered night
somewhere safe
in your mind
its forest green,
deep and wild
I remember how
the sun sunk slow
at the asphalt’s end
it saved us all,
from the time
we tilled the soil
and from the time
of our flight,
from gladiators
and gears
and from the fears
of cities
sometimes we fled
and sometimes we
stood and fought
that’s how we redeemed
our deered night
and yes,
we were forsook
but hopeful still,
three roofs:
they could be
our city upon a hill
three doves:
and off to Mexico
we flew
and at evenings
how we loved
to stroll the streets
how we loved it when
the women
called out to their men
we drank wine,
red or white,
we did not know
what was what
in the stark light
of the deered night
the deered night
is tree-lined
a sky was found
where your feet bound
by the water.
caught in its antler,
a cold moon light
of old romances
that time forgot:
‘once,
there was a time
of beautiful women
and their lovers’
they still exist,
I know,
how that knowledge speaks
up, from the mountains’ peaks
fairest
in the heights
of all deered nights
I say:
I don’t care for naught
except for love
and except for hope
suddenly three shots
and three songs
all remains hirsute
in hindsight,
at the thought of
the deered night
I know,
ships don’t hold
neither neons,
nor theories shed light
remember when
we sat and drank
in Manastır
or how we laid
and made out
you: a woman
and I: a man
our kisses got hot,
our armpits sweeter,
by the dark might
of the deered night
it really didn’t matter
whether we were conned or not,
should we remember
what everyone else forgot?
we didn’t love bygones
and silver samovars
just to watch them disowned
you might have said:
‘perhaps,
‘you were only evil,
‘you were only bad’,
and that perhaps
might’ve explained
but we were neither:
if we stood separated
at the start
and at the end
it was because
separated we were,
at the start
and at the end
yet,
for all that we’ve sighed
was to be found
in the deered night
if you only knew,
just by its thrill
your palms would sweat
then we looked up,
and saw the eventide
that tumbled down
on the sidewalks
on the crystal crowns
and on women’s shoulders
stark naked,
we stood puzzled
at the gates
of big hotels
our despair has mellowed
and you’d be misguided
if you’d judged
that our ennui must be
of some matters,
high and mighty
we’d be relieved in full
only after three drinks,
or
if we stabbed a man,
or
if we spat on streets,
but best of it all,
we’d take off,
wholly resigned
to sleep inside
the deered night
the deer’s eyes
burned bright
like distress fires
fast in fright,
like daggers of sultans
held tight,
in hushed moonlight,
I side
with the flip side
but you:
still domino stones
and you:
slow cold noons
and you:
are still miserable
and I:
am still miserable, too
the crowd is dressed
in flowered garments,
our shadows curled
right by our feet
even when we’re glad,
we all know the end
So I forget:
the debts,
the bonds
and the bondsmen
lotteries are drawn
but I am not to be found
I might be pardoned
on my first stand
I sit down
on my own,
to bathe
a brunette
for my own
I dry her hair,
on my own
I kept it wet,
so that I can have
my wine
by my own
in the wild,
sharp cobalt,
the deered night
that still creaks,
to which I walk up
and then lie down
to kiss my own
two cheeks
